


falling with a heavy heart

by luthorial



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/F, based on 05.01.2018, kind of a what if story, uh just angst and a nice ending tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-02-28 23:18:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13281984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luthorial/pseuds/luthorial
Summary: what if kate did go with rana to tell zeedan?





	falling with a heavy heart

**Author's Note:**

> im super duper tired so sorry if there are mistakes

“Do you want me to be there?”

It’s like they’re playing Jenga, except in this case the wooden blocks are bits of Rana’s life, neatly stacked on top of each other in a three by three formation, and they’re slowly removing pieces. Kate pushes the loose blocks, sliding them out with ease and elegantly long fingers. The tower barely shakes.

Rana is different, she starts from the bottom, breaking apart the previously perfect foundations. Gradually, she pulls out her support, the consequences creating cracks in the crinkled canvas of her life.

The question wobbles in the air. What’s left of the tower shakes in anticipation. A skeleton. Nothing but a one by one stack of what was used to be, and Rana sees it. Of course, she sees it.

Kate is waiting. Long dark hair previously straightened, but curling at the edges, cursed by the day. Anticipation straightens her back and she grasps her glass of red like it’s the holy grail itself, her eyes gleaming with excitement. She’s waiting, anxious although her outfit is the pinnacle of relaxation, old jeans and a grey hoodie, zipped up over bare stomach.

What Rana wouldn’t give to stay. To avoid everything. Live in this small apartment and slowly unzip that hoodie so she couldn’t see anything anymore but smooth tan skin. She longs for close evenings, suffocating nights and mornings filled with laughter. Days that don’t end. Kate makes her feel timeless, as if she gets lost in every moment and turns to find that the trail of breadcrumbs she left, only to see that who she used to be is gone. She’s different now.

Not in a bad way.

Rana thinks that perhaps this is who she’s meant to be. She’s growing, and Kate is waiting.

Has been waiting.

(Would still wait.)

The tower rocks dangerously.

Reaching for Kate’s hand, Rana smiles comfortingly. Kate relaxes, sinks into herself like a mattress and breathes out, hand squeezing.

“Yes.”

The tower falls.

*

Kate’s chewed down three nails already and they’ve only been in Rana’s house for five minutes. It’s an old habit, one Aidan used to scold her for.

She’s perched nervously on the arm of the sofa. Even her butt feels out of place, uncomfortable and numb. Rana is pacing, back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Wearing deep enough holes in the floor that she might just fall through to Australia.

“Where is he?” Kate’s voice comes out harsh, whispering even though they’re the only two in the house. She feels like she’s waiting to go into the headmaster’s office at school. Stomach acid churns. There’s a burning sensation clawing its way up her body, scared and guilty and blocking her windpipe so she can barely breathe. As if it’s claiming some sort of vengeance, some sort of karmic retribution, suffocating her slowly whilst the woman she loves creates her own sinkhole.

“He should be here any second.” Rana whispers back. Her voice cracks, hands shaking as she brushes a piece of hair out her face.

“Hey.” Breathing past the lump in her throat, only just, Kate manages a normal volume, and holds out her hand. “Come here.”

Rana stops.

Slowly, she smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes, and walks over, taking the hand offered to her.

“Your pacing was driving me mental.” Kate jokes, and the quiet chuckle it brings out of Rana makes it worth it. “Look,” She sighs, interlinking their fingers. “If this is something you can’t do right now, that’s okay.” She smiles weakly, diluted, trying to convince herself above all people. “There’s always tomorrow.”

“No.” Rana’s voice is strong, louder than her thumping heart and her jittery feet. “I have to do this at some point. And I want you. All this lying and cheating, it’s not fair, and it’s destroying me, and I’ve seen what it’s doing to you. And I’m all worked up now, so I may as well and-”

She stops, breathing in and looking at Kate. Glistening eyes paint a picture of serene mornings, early birdsongs, the first page of a story. Rana is a portrait of beauty. Flawless bone structure and dark-haired grace in all it’s glory. She squeezes Kate’s hand. “And I’ve got you.”

Kate’s heart stops. Genuinely skips a beat like in all of those songs she hears on the radio at work. When it starts again it’s twice as powerful. Thumping her blood around her body at a new speed. Her veins sing for Rana. She smiles. “Always.”

Rana kisses her softly on the top of the head. “I lov-”

The door opens, loud and inevitable, echoing like a guillotine drop across a stunned audience. “Rana you will not believe how brilliant this place is check this-” Zeedan pauses. “Hi Kate, Rana didn’t mention you were coming over.”

Kate swallows, standing up and wiping her hands nervously on her jeans. “It was sort of a last-minute thing.”

Silence hangs heavy in the air, a canopy soaked with rain, blanketing over all of them. Kate looks at Rana. Rana looks at the floor.

Sensing the sombre atmosphere, Zeedan shuffles, still standing by the door. Quickly, he glances from Kate to Rana. “You girls didn’t have another spat, did you?”

Rana’s response is too quick, too jolted. “No, no.” Her hand flies out, as if reaching for something but failing and falling back to her side. “It’s not that.”

Huffing, Zeedan runs a hand through his hair and begins to shrug out of his jacket. “Then what is it? Obviously something's happened.”

“I’m leaving you.”

The words hang in the air like the ends of a piñata, tattered and broken and dangling from a thread. Tears begin to fall down Rana’s face, spilling onto her uniform, temporarily staining dark blue.

“What?” Zeedan has stopped. Completely. His left arm remains half in the jacket sleeve. The room feels like an elastic band, pulled tight and ready to snap. Slowly, he smiles. “You’re joking? That’s why Kate’s here.” He laughs but it’s empty, swallowed by the room. “You can put the camera away you got me.” Looking at Kate with pleading eyes, he jokes, but she can’t do anything to save him, to tell him it’s going to be okay.

Because it’s not.

It won’t be for a while.

Kate can’t save him, and neither can Rana. Their relationship is an ocean, and no one escapes it unscathed. Zeedan is drowning in his own living room.

They can’t save him, so Rana offers him the next best thing.

“I’m not joking.” She chokes. “I’m in love with someone else.”

Zeedan’s face morphs into hurt, hope of being pulled out sinking into the waves. Rigidly, he turns to Kate. His tongue is venomous, hurt quickly diffusing into anger, body turning difficult emotions into ones easier to manage. “No offence, I’m truly glad you two are mates again, but I think this is a private conversation I should be having with my wife.”

Involuntarily, Kate flinches as _wife_ falls out of Zeedan’s mouth. The guilt claws at her insides, trying to escape through her stomach.

Zeedan’s brow furrows, his hands dropping to his sides in defeat. Slowly, he deflates, anger morphed back into sadness as he trudges to the sofa and falls onto it.

He stares at Kate for a long time.

“It’s you.”

It’s not a question.

Kate glances at Rana, who nods.

“Yes.”

Zeedan sighs, flinching away from Kate’s gaze, looking towards the door, away from the women. He rests his head on his elbow, his elbow on the arm, and he sits. Silent.

 

 

It’s deafening.

 

 

“Zee.” Rana breaks the tension. “I’m so-”

“Don’t you dare say sorry.” Zeedan’s voice breaks, or maybe its his heart, splitting in two and cracking down his voice. “I can’t hear it. Not now.”

“But I am.”

“I feel like such an idiot.” Zeedan is crying now, his eyes red, still facing away, refusing to look at them. “I pushed you together thinking you should be mates when really this has been going on the whole time.”

“Zee-” Kate starts.

“And you!” Zeedan interrupts. “You were supposed to be _my_ mate. It all makes so much sense now, you showing up drunk and all at our wedding. When you were both here the other day. It makes me sick to think about. This whole time.”

He stops, huffs and throws himself back into the sofa, adjusting his position. Running his hand through his hair again and staring at the ground, he speaks softly. “I’ll accept your apologies one day. But for now, I think you’d better leave. We have nothing left to say to each other.”

“Zee…” Rana tries again. She’s a tornado, hair falling out of place and makeup streaking her cheeks.

“I said leave.” Zeedan repeats.

Kate makes the move first, walking slowly to the door, her legs aching with every step. Rana follows. They stop in the doorway.

“I truly am so sorry Zee.” Rana whispers, and it feels like the shutting of a book.

They leave quietly, the wake of their destruction scattered in their slowly shrinking shadows.

*

“Are you okay.” Kate asks. They’ve sat on a bench outside, letting the chilled night breeze lift some of their troubles. Alya is probably in the flat, waiting to pounce, and neither of them are emotionally ready for that one. “Stupid question sorry.”

Rana smiles. “Surprisingly I’m alright.” She leans her head on Kate’s shoulder, taking comfort in the warmth. “Lighter.”

“Yeah.” Kate turns, and kisses the top of Rana’s head. “There’s some sort of weight gone now.”

“It’s only uphill from here.” Rana says, and then laughs. “What a cliché.”

“I’m dumping you for saying that.”

“Fair enough.”

“This is a bit awkward.” Kate jokes. “Who’s gonna leave first?”

Lifting her head, Rana grins, slapping Kates thigh softly. “Shut up.”

Kate laughs, and for the first time in a long time, it’s completely genuine. Her nose scrunches, and her teeth gleam as she giggles, forming little crinkles around her soft brown eyes. “I’m just teasing.”

Rana stares. “You’re beautiful you know that?”

A blush creeps it’s way onto Kate’s cheeks, red snaking up her neck and to her face. “Now you have to shut up.”

“No.” Rana smiles. “This evening’s been awful, but do you know what the best thing that came out of it was?”

Sarcasm drips of Kate’s tone. “You have a clear conscience?”

“No.” Rana whispers, her nose awfully close to Kate’s. “I get to do this.”

Their lips meet in a soft but sure kiss. It’s different to all the other times they’ve kissed. It’s free. The entire world could be watching and neither of them would care.  

The stars are barely visible beyond the clouds but still the evening paves way for opportunity. Kate throws her arm around Rana, pulls her closer and sighs.

They have a long way to go, but the night seems to suggest they might make it.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
